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  "Yes."

  Teddy tipped his whiskey glass at me. "Know who you are and that's that."

  When we returned to the garage house and poured ourselves more drinks, I asked Teddy to tell me more about himself. He sat with his legs spread wide and leaned back on the couch. He occasionally fiddled with his watch and medallion while speaking. Without bluster or attempts at impressing me, Teddy matter-of-factly told me that he had finished college after his military service and worked at a nearby winery, steadily rising to management level because of his strong work ethic and ability to handle crises with a sound mind. When the owner of the winery died, Teddy inherited the business and just enough money to keep it afloat. After a few years the operation was turning a bigger profit and Teddy began purchasing other wineries in the region.

  With trusted managers in place at each of the wineries, Teddy now spent most of his time traveling to the various businesses and visiting other vineyards all over the world, especially in France, Italy, and Spain, to learn about the latest techniques and to get inspired by new ideas. "Sixty percent of my time is overseeing management personnel and thirty percent is research and development," he said. "Glamorous? Not really. I just do what must be done to succeed."

  In that moment I understood why this room, this man cave, was so important to Teddy. Providing seclusion, and an ability to temporarily escape his ownership roles, he could enjoy time with himself and indulge his tastes for a relaxing life. This place was like a haven for him. A haven where he could unwind and savor the fruits of his labor, so to speak.

  Teddy told me some things about his personal life, too. He lived in a mid-size town a few hours away, his parents were of Latin and German heritage, he had briefly married but the marriage ended in divorce, and he had not yet had any children.

  When the conversation waned, Teddy got up to go to the bathroom. I flipped on the television and an erotic thriller played on the cable channel. It was a foreign film from the 1990s with English subtitles printed at the bottom of the screen.

  Teddy returned. "What's this?"

  A tuxedo-clad vampire seduced a voluptuous blond in a castle tower. "I'm not sure yet," I answered. I handed him the remote control. "Pick whatever you want instead."

  "Let's give this a few minutes," he said, stretching out on the couch.

  Chapter 7

  For three consecutive nights, Teddy and I watched late night television together. The later in the evening, the more likely we were to tune into a cable channel featuring shows with nudity, innuendo, and sexual tension. The camaraderie between the two of us advanced naturally. I hoped he would never leave.

  On the fourth night, he mentioned he would be departing in the morning. After my evening jog, Teddy invited me to take a walk by the river. It was twilight and for the most part the roads alongside the river did not have lights. Darkness smothered us and Teddy wanted to know more about my internship, my supervisors, and how I handled assignments from them. It seemed to me, at first, like he was exploring how strong of a work ethic I might have. Then, it occurred to me that Teddy might be asking questions because he was considering me for a job position. But by the conclusion of our stroll, I discarded both theories and realized he was just genuinely interested in how I was getting along and how much experience I was gaining from the summer position.

  "That's the first time I have walked along the river in years," Teddy said, upon our arrival back at the garage house. "I need to do that more often."

  "I'll join you whenever you'd like company," I replied.

  "Kieran, I'm impressed by what you've told me."

  "Why?" I asked with a smile, wanting to hear his answer while not selling myself short or sounding surprised.

  Teddy removed his boots and offered me a whiskey, which I declined, but I did accept his offer for a cigar. "You're taking the path less traveled, as the saying goes. Service is admirable. I've always thought so. Military. Charity. Church. And, in your case, government."

  "Thank you."

  "There are easier paths you could be taking, like staying in your hometown and trying jobs that would make you more money and be easier to master. But, with financial risk and so on, you're here and reaching for something that will make more of an impact."

  I nodded. It was a gesture to express my continued gratitude for his observations. Color rose in my cheeks. Flushing has always been a problem for me. I knew my friendship with Teddy had been building, but his positive assessment of my character was beyond anything I had really expected.

  While Teddy showered after dinner, I changed into a pair of sweatpants. The only clean pair I had left was made of a thin synthetic material. It felt good on my skin, but got too hot if I wore underwear. So I chucked my underwear and slipped into the sweatpants, liberated by the freedom of hanging out with another man. A man who likely would not notice my bulge anyway, and if he did, he probably wouldn't care or think anything of it.

  I wished someday I would possess more of his carriage and outlook.

  Teddy's compliment had me on cloud nine, in a blizzard of euphoria, and so I decided against having beer or any other alcohol when I returned to the downstairs room. I sucked on the cigar, like I had seen Teddy do, but did not think of lighting it. Teddy emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and grinned when he saw me enjoying the cigar. His chest and nipples were stunning in shape and naturally hairless, which was unexpected considering the amount of hair on his muscular forearms. Teddy's physique had been built with hard work and healthy eating. He did not have the ripped musculature of a man who goes to the gym daily. But to me, for my taste, Teddy was absolute perfection. I wanted to embrace him, feel the moisture on his skin, smell his neck, and toss away his towel.

  Teddy went up to his room and returned a few minutes later in a sleeveless undershirt and baggy boxers. I suspected that Teddy, like me, was running out of clean clothes. His undershirt had tears and holes from likely years of use and abuse. I loved being able to see his arms. His boxers seemed a size too big, ballooning out from his hips. But what mattered was that we both were at such ease with one another.

  There we were watching a classic Marx Brothers comedy on a classics channel, with our cigars, and at some point during the night we both fell asleep, me in the lounger and Teddy on the couch. The only light in the room was from the television monitor, bathing us in ever-changing glares, mostly of silver and blue.

  I woke first. I guessed that it was just past midnight, but I didn't have my watch on and the only clock in the room was a digital display on the cable box with numbers too small to read. Teddy had rolled onto his side, toward me, with one arm under his head and the other flopped down in front of his chest. His legs were folded at the knees, blocking the television light from illuminating his boxers, but I leaned forward because it looked like Teddy's manhood had slipped out of the front slit in his boxers. I couldn't tell for certain what I was seeing. Curiosity got the best of me and I bent closer toward him. I knew Teddy was in deep sleep from the rhythm of his breathing. Still, in that amount of darkness, I wasn't sure.

  I quietly slinked off the recliner and crouched on my ankles, moving close to the edge of the couch. I figured as long as I didn't touch him, I wasn't violating his personal space. Maybe that was poor reasoning, but I yearned to take a peek. I decided I to see for myself if Teddy was exposed, then back away and go to bed. Teddy would never know.

  I moved at a snail's pace to not disturb him. The first thing I noticed as I crept close to him was the clean smell of soap blended with the musk emitting from under his arms. The raw scent made me rock hard. My erection pushed against the fabric of my sweatpants, creating a tent straight outward. Peering carefully at Teddy's boxers, I observed that my impression was correct. His penis had tumbled out, falling through the front slit, hanging downward and dozing. His uncircumcised dick, dark and thick, made me momentarily think of a hibernating bear, with great power bundled into a stage of rest.

  I could have remained fro
zen still and continued staring, but I feared getting caught. I did not want to risk anything that would upset the growing friendship he and I had been developing. With one last stare, to retain the moment in its entirety, I backed away.

  I hadn't made a sound. At most, my movements had interrupted the beams from the television. But after pulling away from Teddy, I glanced at his face. His eyes were open, looking down at the obscene bulge in my sweatpants.

  I scrambled away, not saying a word, stood up and ascended the stairs to my room. I crawled into my bed, not bothering to turn on the lights or shut my door, and buried myself in a cocoon under the blankets. I chided myself and shame washed over me. Had I ruined everything? Teddy would be gone tomorrow morning and it could all be over, driving him to never come back.

  Eventually, after what seemed like hours but was probably only several minutes, my head stopped spinning and I tried to forgive myself. I may have even uttered the words, "I forgive you," speaking them to myself so softly that they were barely audible. I exhaled a deep breath and unwrapped myself from the blankets, letting my head rest on the pillow for fresh air.

  That's when I heard the tap of strong knuckles on the door frame.

  Chapter 8

  "Kieran?"

  I paused, wondering whether I had detected anger or disappointment in his voice. Speaking just the one word, my name, I couldn't be sure. His tone seemed more quizzical than anything. My response was meek. "Yes?"

  He waited for me to look up before he continued. The radiant moonlight streaming through my window exposed Teddy standing in my doorway. He stood rigid like a cop, with his feet wide apart and his hips thrust forward. His manhood hung out of his boxers, resembling an elephant trunk.

  "Do you want to help me out for a minute?" he asked.

  I was too shocked to respond. Teddy walked away from my door toward his bedroom.

  I bound off my bed and ripped my shirt off. Barefoot, my heart racing, I tramped out of my room and walked through Teddy's open bedroom door. Standing in front of his window, he looked like a silhouette. He peeled off his undershirt and boxers and noticed me. Teddy climbed into his bed, laid on his back, and put his hands behind his head.

  To my credit, I didn't hesitate. I slithered onto the foot of his bed, positioning my knees near his feet. I massaged his legs with one hand and tickled the hairs on his heavy scrotum with the other, watching Teddy grow. His bulbous crown, his glans, poked out from his foreskin, which continued receding until he reached full length. Teddy was bobbing and throbbing before my lips reached his tip and tasted the drop that had already oozed up.

  How can I describe Teddy's taste? It was a razor-sharp tang, primal and earthy. Captivated, I thought of a man working the land, his hands in the dirt and the roots, grapes in his fingers, a hint of spirits on his breath.

  Teddy reacted to every motion of my tongue. I traced the contours of his shaft and he jerked and hopped with every sensation. As my mouth descended on him, burying him as far into my throat as I could, Teddy began moaning with abandon and covered his face with his pillow. I continued slurping, earning the steady oozing drops that melted onto my tongue and the roof of my mouth.

  Teddy put his palm on my forehead, signaling for me to slow down. I released him from my mouth and kept my lips only inches away from his erection. Teddy did not need to say another word. I instantly understood that he didn't want me to stop, but he was ultra sensitive and had a quick draw. That made sense, remembering that he had previously ejaculated just from the flick of my finger. I lowered to his balls, circled them with the tip of my tongue, and gently mashed them against my cheeks and chin, getting his musky scent all over my face.

  Lifting up, I saw that Teddy had oozed trickling streams of pre-ejaculate that were rolling down and around his stiffness. I lapped the fluid up. Teddy lifted his palm again, but kept it a few inches away from my forehead, prepared to stop me if I took him too far. I felt a sense of enormous power, having Teddy in my mouth and under my control. I knew I could bring him to orgasm whenever I wanted. His ecstatic moans made it clear I was doing everything right. Though not someone with much sexual experience, it crossed my mind that few other people, if any, would be as genuinely starving and hungry for his pleasure.

  I yanked my sweatpants down with one hand and slowly stroked myself while my lips teased and taunted Teddy, flirting with bringing him to the edge of release. A couple more times he touched my head with his palm, pleading with me to hold back. His other hand smashed his pillow against his face. Teddy spread his legs wider, submitting further to my mouth and my touch.

  When an especially robust drop of Teddy's fluid seeped out and overwhelmed my taste buds, I jerked myself faster, past the point of no return. As I climaxed, my mouth latched onto Teddy. He pressed his palm on me, but I didn't obey. He could not resist the suction. Teddy banged out loads of his seed, overfilling my mouth. I could not swallow fast enough and his semen escaped from my nostrils and the corners of my mouth. Teddy tried to muffle his screams of ecstasy, but involuntarily pushed away his pillow as he clutched my ears with his hands, vigorously thrusted, and drained everything he had inside me.

  With his final pulsation, Teddy's hands fell to his sides. "Wow, Kieran. Damn."

  I noticed that my own spurts had sprayed across the blanket between his legs. I tried to wipe up the emissions with my sweatpants, but some of it had already soaked in.

  We sat in the dark for a couple of minutes, resting, and our bodies relaxed. Though no further words were spoken, I did not feel awkward. The atmosphere had a connectedness to it, or at least I sensed that. Neither of us were reacting with shame or regret. This had happened and so be it, and I pondered that was likely Teddy's attitude about it.

  Triumphant, happy, and spent, I peacefully lifted myself off Teddy's bed and returned to my own room. I decided to sleep in the nude and laid still in bed while the sweat continued evaporating from my body.

  Chapter 9

  Teddy was gone the rest of the summer, but he returned during the final week of my internship and residency in the garage house. For three consecutive nights, the same scenario played out. We recreated our last encounter, with me servicing him on his bed in the moonlight just before he fell asleep.

  I was on top of the world, though fearful at any time it was going to end with Teddy expressing regret or revulsion. The repeated encounters only heightened my lust for him. I likened it to an unquenchable thirst on the hottest day, when nothing inhaled ever seemed like enough.

  I should add that the replayed encounters were not identical. I was heartened by what might seem like small and insignificant developments. I cherished that Teddy had begun rubbing my shoulders while he was inside my mouth. He no longer tried to stop me or slow me down. We had an understanding. I could bring him to orgasm whenever I wanted. It was up to me. Teddy effectively submitted to this, content to either come immediately or after an hour of me savoring him.

  I know it could sound ridiculous to some, but I swear that when I saw myself in the mirror after these experiences that I looked taller. Stronger. More substantial. Finally, I could view my reflection and see that a man stared back at me.

  I took nothing for granted with Teddy. I just wanted the intimacy and the adventures to continue.

  It was a sunny and muggy Saturday morning when Teddy invited me to tour his vineyard. As I followed him, meandering through the rows across the hillside, he explained considerations regarding sun exposure, water drainage, the spacing of vines, the shape and height of trellises, wind exposure, preparation of the soil, and planting and cultivation. He encouraged me to touch the vines and the earth. I asked questions about matters that were not clear and it became evident that Teddy had commanding knowledge of every facet of his business. The tour emphasized to me that Teddy was not an owner content to sit in an office and bark orders at staff. He was a hands-on owner and he loved his craft and trade.

  Teddy and I returned to the top of the hill. He pointed out the boundari
es of his property, which exceeded my original understanding, winding down valleys on both the east and west sides. I followed him to a lookout point that provided a picturesque view of the bend in the Missouri River. Teddy said the previous owner had built the wooden deck, lined with safety posts, for income from weddings and reunions and other festivities. Teddy admitted he had let the deck fall into some disrepair, as his focus was on the primary income from the winery, not the opportunities for additional sources of revenue. He relayed that the previous owner of this property had made the mistake of spreading himself too thin, neglecting his core business, which resulted in him selling it to Teddy at what he called a distressed and very affordable price.

  We sat on a picnic bench beside the deck railing, in the shade of a mammoth oak tree, and gazed at the currents in the great river.

  "You'll be gone in a few days," Teddy said.

  "I will miss this place," I replied.

  "Will you?"

  "I'll miss you, too."

  Teddy grinned and kept his eyes straight ahead on the horizon. A minute of silence passed. "Do we need to talk about what's been happening?"

  I answered immediately. "No." I was terrified he would express regret or say something that would lead me to feeling shame.

  "Fine. I agree that some things are better left unsaid. Words can be tricky. And messy."

  I thought that was the end of the talk and I was relieved. But Teddy continued.

  "I'm enjoying it, Kieran," he said, turning and looking at me. "But are you getting enough out of this arrangement?"

  Astonished, I'm sure my facial expressions expressed my shock. I could not believe it had crossed his mind that I was not the one reaping the monumental benefits from our encounters. They meant so much to me. They were changing me.

  "I am completely satisfied," I answered. A silly and nervous grin from me. "No doubt about that."